Paying child support and you found out that you were trapped and the child is not your child? Living in a home that you can no longer afford and too proud to move out into a more comfortable situation? Driving the car you just got a DUI in only to be headed towards the liquor store for more? In a marriage where you are not emotionally or physically compatible with your mate and not sure how to repair the damage that has been done? Tired of living paycheck to paycheck and want to make that drop that can change everything? Are you feeling your feet moving to and fro but your brain is not able to function and your ears are clogged of hearing? Do you wonder why you are “wired” the way you are compared to someone else?
In short……do you often find yourself drifting away? You know yourself and you know when you’re thinking out of sorts.
From your interests, from your purpose, from that place of happiness getting caught up on what was and what is not and the medium in between that has you wondering what if……..why not……..why come? Life is filled with a plethora of agendas and goals for us to attain and there may be times in life that things may not go according to plan. When this happens we must learn how to adjust and refocus our attention on progress and begin again.
A recent article by Andrea Bartz in Psychology Today (August 2011), one of my favorite mags referenced a criteria of sorts for those persons who are sense thinkers trying to understand their situation and who are sensitive yet in everything I do, I also refer to my other favorite book, the Bible, to gather life’s perspective for how we can handle and approach the challenging issues in life that seek to take us under. John 10:10 says that the devil (Satan) comes with the sole purpose to kill, steal, and destroy. He is not interested in how you may be feeling, he simply wants to conquer your mindset, alter your behavior, and destroy your existence.
From experience, I can tell you that I dealt with anxiety and depression for many years following the death of my parents. As a result, I turned to various forms of narcotic and prescription drugs that existed to attempt to increase my feelings of well-being and resist tension, stress, and hyperactivity. Although there is a place for medicine in mental health, the love of God is the strongest assistance for life’s challenges and ultimately broke the yokes and bondages of oppression and feelings of being orphaned.
While reading Bartz’s article, I was pleased to read the five tips that she acquired from psychotherapist Elaine Aron for adjusting ourselves against highly stressful activities. Here are her tips: (1) Designate Downtime to recover yourself from the over stimulation of your mindset and the moods of others, (2) Talk Yourself Calm identifying the intent of the other person’s comments and your reactions, (3) Change Your Interactions removing toxic distractions from your life one by one, (4) Arm Yourself imaging that you have a safety protective armor to provide protection against foreign elements, and (5) Rewrite History by simply acknowledging and accepting yourself, your situation, and your decision.
Life is a collection of issues that we must go through but we do not have to be consumed by them. Rely on the wisdom of God and the acceptance of self and your situation to gain victory over every life situation!
Danita Solomon Ogandaga, MSW
Orphan No More Podcast
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