Emotional Healing, Relationships

Love, Orphan Spirit, & the Revolving Door Syndrome

RevolvingDoorOh, the revolving door. Going round and round.

We were created for alot of things in life, but we were not created for revolving doors.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking of all of the times I went to the aisles of Walmart reading cards for mothers and fathers and walking out of the store in tears because my parents were no longer on the Earth. This pain was deafening and put a huge hole in my heart that I desperately wanted filled.

At the time, it did not really matter who or what filled it, I just wanted the pain to stop. Imagine being totally affirmed and validated on a regular basis and then going cold turkey into a world where you were not sure what voices to believe or who you could trust. Viewing everyone as lambs when they were cloaked with the stench of predators preying on the weak. Life has taught alot about making sure you locate yourself and what you allow into your space.

Revolving doors are for the uncommitted ones not ready to make a decision and actually not having too because they’ve positioned themselves to have God like characteristics that must be passed from this one to that one via sex, communication, or actions. Often raging inside, they have no desire to settle down, and why should they when the door is always being opened for them to come in.

If you never had the validation that you needed or are trying to numb the pain for a trauma that happened in your past, you’re a great candidate for the person who has the revolving door syndrome. Why? You have not come into the knowledge of who you are and how many know……..

yeapYeap………so take a moment and think about it. Did your doorbell ring last night? Did you open it? Did they come in and turn you out? Did you wake up alone wondering what did I just do? Why am I allowing this?…but When are they coming back?

Feeling sure, insecure, elation, disappointment at the same dang time?

Know this….. the Bible (yes, that book), says that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That has never changed. It may not be that Satan is showing up at your doorstep in a red jumpsuit with  pitchfork, but you are allowing these entrances into your body, mind, and spirit, that are stripping you of the very essence from understanding your identity in Jesus Christ. It is time to settle your mind and detox from the relationship so that you can come back to your first love….Jesus Christ.

The orphan spirit does not want you to become acquainted with God’s love. It wants you to constantly go on a hunt from relationship to relationship trying to be validated by man and fill your space with temporary fillers when all you need is ONE encounter with the liquid love of Father God to break the chains of that orphan spirit and set you free from the inside out.

Today, I urge you to not pick up that phone. Don’t know what to do?

1.     OCCUPY your time with friends today. If they are deciding to  follow their revolving doors

2.      Pick up the phone at 7:30pm EST and join me for HE FIRST LOVED US!

DNP1 Simply Phone Dial (712) 432-1212 Enter ID: 745-317-479# 

3. Share your time with a local women’s shelter, hospital, or food bank today.

4. Attend a bible study in your local area

5. Pick up a copy of my book, Overcoming the Orphan Spirit: Restoration for Self & Society at http://www.e-junkie.com/Trillionaire/product/489145.php

6. Make a decision to feel good about yourself 24-7 rather than making that person who is a revolving door-er feel good. They constantly pop up at your door because they are CRAVING validation and need to get it from you. I dare you to sit them down and do a John 3:16 on that real quick. Watch that response!

7. Live daily knowing that God loves you and you are his first love. Get a journal and mark this day as the day of your radical change to say no to drama and YES to Jesus. Give him all of you. He will turn your mess into a beautiful message for all to see.

Love you!

Trauma may have been yesterday, but hope does start today!

Danita

 

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Conferences & Webinairs

Seasons of Grief Part II Seminar Re-Cap: The Art of Grief in Fayetteville, Georgia

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Last night, December 5, we held the last Seasons of Grief Seminar for 2013! What an awesome time we had in Fayetteville, Georgia. One thing that I have discovered about doing this work, is that no matter what the loss category is, no loss is the same and people decide to handle their loss differently.

It is amazing to know that the common thread among humanity is the love that we hold in our hearts towards the ones we love and the power we have within us to learn how to move forward with the our loved ones in our hearts forever.

Special thanks to Mrs. Christeen Snell, the Director of the Fayette County Public Library in Fayetteville, Georgia and her awesome staff for welcoming me in with open arms and ensuring with excellence that the audio equipment and facilities were accommodating to our guests.  We certainly appreciate everything you have done.

My arms wrap ten times around the attendees at last night’s Part II Seminar called :The Art of Grief. After providing an overview of the stages and steps of grief, I lead the group through an understanding for what art therapy is and why it is used as a form of expression: spontaneous and experiential. There is no mistake in the art of expression and I was amazed at the outcome.

The evening told stories of:

  • A warm and beautiful couple who loss one of their twin baby boys
  • A woman who struggled with understanding her identity after losing her mom
  • A courageous young man who is trying to understand how to live life without his father
  • A beautiful woman who having endured her own personal struggles, is seeking to process the loss of her father and brother-in-law
  • A bold and outspoken woman silenced by the recent death of her best friend
  • A wise man who crossed the waters from Africa to America to start a new life after the loss of his father, wealthy lifestyle, and promised future.

No matter what the stories are, they are all powerful in nature and showed us the power of unconditional love. I was so honored to have been in the room and listen to the countless stories of love, pain, loss, and the hope for a brighter future after having been equipped with the protective space to voice their feelings, pain, love, and loss.

Check out the highlights:

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To respect the privacy of the attendees, this picture features a picture of a giraffe indicating the blanket that their twin son used to have with him in the NIC-Unit at the hospital before he died. What an awesome remembrance.  In addition, the red object is the sun, which is an indicator of hope. What an amazing expression.

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Two attendees chose to capture two forms of expression: written and visual. The picture on the left was done to remember her mother who recently passed. It was great to see how she cherished the memory of her mother by creating a beautiful drawing for her. The words on the right provide an awesome and powerful expression of the conversation that the participant wanted to hold with her deceased brother-in -law. She never got to say goodbye so to be given an opportunity to provide communication to express herself was amazing.

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Words to your child are powerful and this was an example of a mother’s communication with her child and establishing acceptance with his passing.

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Saying goodbye to a good friend is never easy. This participant decided to make a Christmas bell to ring in the promise for a season of healing after understanding how to process her grief.

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His father worked for a phone company and taking the time to express himself was done with the memory of his father’s memories of working where he loved. Each initial represents a state he worked in. Such as beautiful expression.

I am grateful for the opportunity to conduct the Seasons of Grief Seminar in Fayetteville, Georgia and to work with an awesome group of people. To read the highlights from our first Seasons of Grief Seminar Part I on Learning to Relax, Relate, and Release After Loss click here.

Uncategorized

Close the Gap Today!

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I kept hearing the word “rift” in my spirit, and I heard the Lord say:  Close the gaps and repair the rifts so that the enemy will not be able to bring irreparable damage to the relationships that are vital to My purposes for you.  Criticism, judgment and offenses are not only damaging to your soul and spirit, but also open the door for the devil to enter in and wreak havoc as a consequence of your hardened heart.  Choose peace and reconciliation with your brothers and sisters in the kingdom of God.  Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle.