Relationships, Uncategorized

“But a B**tch is Happy!”: Omarion and Apryl Jones

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Omarion and Apryl Jones     

I am not thirsty and I am not looking on these blogs for any tea ok.  There is so much going on in the world today that could never be compared to the relationship status of two people and their decision to call it quits, but while I am here, let me say this real quick…………can we #TalkRelationships ?

Woke up this morning to the news that America’s cutest couple, Omarion and Apryl have called it quits. Instagram and social media will never be the same seeing provocative yet cute and cuddly pictures of this couple loving on each other as they bring two beautiful children into the world.

We followed them and many gained a restored sense on #blacklove and the desire to try again was instilled all because of this couple. Clueless to the day to day, unsaid, uncued, and captured moments in the silence of themselves, we wanted to be just like them. Why? Social media creates a perception that becomes reality in the eyes of those desperately searching. Traditional human behavior teaches us to continue the status quo even when we have seen our parents swim in it and and in some cases drown.

Unless you are living under their roof, you’ll never know the real details. The Love and Hip script on television often outweighs the cultural, societal, and emotional pressure that people face. While #relationshipgoals, #ahtheysocutetho hastags are flying all around, the reality is that there is no perfect relationship and for whatever reason, even the bomb sex, having two children one year apart, a reality series contract, good God genes, or the like can not outweigh the truth:

Cows make milk for to nourish the thirsty but even cows suffer dehydration. Selah.

Maybe she had a moment of sanity, waking up from her pause thinking why did I put my life on hold to make a life with you? A common situation many women find themselves in when they situate themselves into a comfort zone, playing house with all the amenities except for the one that truly counts: Commitment

I do not want to speculate or assume, just speaking on the obvious, I would dare say that even though she may feel light in her ability to wake up, I am sure taking to social media creating a Snap Chat in front of your child to proclaim to the world that “A B**tch Happy really is translation for, ” I woke up, walked out, not sure of next step but I gotta say something.” Just my guess but I pray that their streets align, co-parenting reigns, and if this just so happens to be another lemonade session, may they profit themselves into Holy Matrimony.

Oh, and please, for the love of Jesus, get your OWN #RELATIONSHIPSGOALS!

 

Check out my new course on Dissociation so you can understand why you keep opening the door for stuff and people that simply don’t matter any more…………. Click here to purchase for IMMEDIATE Download. Over 70 minutes of content. https://gumroad.com/l/nLae

*I did not take this picture.

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Emotional Healing, Relationships

Love, Orphan Spirit, & the Revolving Door Syndrome

RevolvingDoorOh, the revolving door. Going round and round.

We were created for alot of things in life, but we were not created for revolving doors.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking of all of the times I went to the aisles of Walmart reading cards for mothers and fathers and walking out of the store in tears because my parents were no longer on the Earth. This pain was deafening and put a huge hole in my heart that I desperately wanted filled.

At the time, it did not really matter who or what filled it, I just wanted the pain to stop. Imagine being totally affirmed and validated on a regular basis and then going cold turkey into a world where you were not sure what voices to believe or who you could trust. Viewing everyone as lambs when they were cloaked with the stench of predators preying on the weak. Life has taught alot about making sure you locate yourself and what you allow into your space.

Revolving doors are for the uncommitted ones not ready to make a decision and actually not having too because they’ve positioned themselves to have God like characteristics that must be passed from this one to that one via sex, communication, or actions. Often raging inside, they have no desire to settle down, and why should they when the door is always being opened for them to come in.

If you never had the validation that you needed or are trying to numb the pain for a trauma that happened in your past, you’re a great candidate for the person who has the revolving door syndrome. Why? You have not come into the knowledge of who you are and how many know……..

yeapYeap………so take a moment and think about it. Did your doorbell ring last night? Did you open it? Did they come in and turn you out? Did you wake up alone wondering what did I just do? Why am I allowing this?…but When are they coming back?

Feeling sure, insecure, elation, disappointment at the same dang time?

Know this….. the Bible (yes, that book), says that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy. That has never changed. It may not be that Satan is showing up at your doorstep in a red jumpsuit with  pitchfork, but you are allowing these entrances into your body, mind, and spirit, that are stripping you of the very essence from understanding your identity in Jesus Christ. It is time to settle your mind and detox from the relationship so that you can come back to your first love….Jesus Christ.

The orphan spirit does not want you to become acquainted with God’s love. It wants you to constantly go on a hunt from relationship to relationship trying to be validated by man and fill your space with temporary fillers when all you need is ONE encounter with the liquid love of Father God to break the chains of that orphan spirit and set you free from the inside out.

Today, I urge you to not pick up that phone. Don’t know what to do?

1.     OCCUPY your time with friends today. If they are deciding to  follow their revolving doors

2.      Pick up the phone at 7:30pm EST and join me for HE FIRST LOVED US!

DNP1 Simply Phone Dial (712) 432-1212 Enter ID: 745-317-479# 

3. Share your time with a local women’s shelter, hospital, or food bank today.

4. Attend a bible study in your local area

5. Pick up a copy of my book, Overcoming the Orphan Spirit: Restoration for Self & Society at http://www.e-junkie.com/Trillionaire/product/489145.php

6. Make a decision to feel good about yourself 24-7 rather than making that person who is a revolving door-er feel good. They constantly pop up at your door because they are CRAVING validation and need to get it from you. I dare you to sit them down and do a John 3:16 on that real quick. Watch that response!

7. Live daily knowing that God loves you and you are his first love. Get a journal and mark this day as the day of your radical change to say no to drama and YES to Jesus. Give him all of you. He will turn your mess into a beautiful message for all to see.

Love you!

Trauma may have been yesterday, but hope does start today!

Danita

 

Relationships, Uncategorized

Get Up & Go Home: Breaking Soul Ties

Vibe-Vixen-90-Day-Rule

Watching the television for moments at a time these days can translate into to almost catching a case of the “Man I remember that” moments if you are not careful. From the Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta  to Marrying the Game to Mr. and Mrs. Jones, the world is hard knocked focused on watching so many women and men continue to sell themselves short while they are going through and agonizing season of singlehood. Although it has not been published alot, not everyone is following the Jones’s and you can have heaven on earth in the arms of one man and not playing the role of Jezebel on steroids thugging your way into the arms of another man.

I’ve spent the later part of this year providing expressive therapy to man women and men who are dealing with abandonment and  orphaned issues which have created a centrality of trauma causing them to, in anger, and often times without feeling, engage in extra marital relationships or become the subject add-on of one functioning as a mistress or mister. Either way, the development of these relationships was birthed out of pain and the need to feel desired while secure. Through a process of identifying a type of person that could be massaged into a profile suitable for sex on the side, these affairs sickly provide a safe haven for the emotional to feel at ease.

In the midst of feeling at ease, once the sex has died down, the making of a soul tie has manifested and as you already know, condoms may be able to keep you from getting pregnant, but they will NOT prevent you from developing a soul tie.

So what is it already? A soul tie is an emotional attachment that is developed via vows, commitments, sexual or emotional exchanges that people engage in. The process of the exchange creates a bridge where information and needs are communicated and transferred. Woman are the holders of the majority of the information and needs that are transferred simply because of the nature of our anatomy. We are receivers so the development of the soul tie is stored within us.

From Mark to Corinthians, the bible is clear about the joining of one man and one woman together and the forming of a unit. Imagine when that unit between a woman and a man is comprised with the continual revolving door of relationships and soul ties that develop as a result of break-ups to make-ups to meet-ups to sex-up, etc.

2013 is the beginning of a new era of grace and God wants you to walk free of the shame of your past so if you are holding this pattern of why am I constantly choosing this person over and over again, it may be time to stop looking at the person and the spirit of the person whose pattern keeps vying for your attention.

The Orphan No More podcast and Danitaogandaga.com Expressive Therapy is here to remind you that God loves you, in fact, He always has and always will love you and you can get free of every bondage that you have been entangled with. There is power in the name of Jesus to break each and every chain that holds you bound.

There is good news if you want to break out of your chain:

  1. Simply ask God to deliver you of the sin that you are entangled with. Then repent asking God for forgiveness and purpose in your heart to turn completely away from Pookie and Tyrone even when it gets cold outside.
  2. Reverse the curse. Renounce any and every tie that you have had with a person or persons. Proverbs 21:23 in the message translation says He who guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from calamity. Well, that means that you have the power to speak life and continue to thank God for your deliverance.
  3. Forgive Yourself and the Offenders. From Genesis to Revelations, there are so many scriptures that encourage us to forgive. The main person to forgive is yourself. When we come to our senses, we actually realize that we were led away and distracted but now that we are sober, we should forgive ourselves as well as the parties involved.

Most importantly, know that God loves you and He always will. There is nothing that you can do to prevent Him from loving you. I encourage you to keep walking forward in the direction of your healing and in the days ahead, keep reading scriptures that feed your faith and starve your doubts.

For more intensive work in dealing with the trauma of your past, check out our Get to Work+Services section on our website. Group and individual coaching and expressive therapy will begin the second week of January 2013.

God bless you!