On a given day we assess so many things, whether a report at work or the amount of apples in the refrigerator before making that stop to the grocery store. Consistently evaluating to see if our subject measures up to the stated standard of our upper’s approval.
It is so easy to see how one could then apply that mindset to the navigation tool of their own life and seek to be adopted by the standard of Mother Earth…feeling like an Orphan…separated by our once reality, the constant voice who always stabilized us in our uncertain times…thinking why like Corinne Bailey Rae, why we are not quick to let our guard down, cautious and walking on ice with every relationship that comes our way, ready to show our ID to justify our age when we know we’re over 21 and oh so grown!
A tweet here, a post there, and an entry on the blog all seem to soothe the soul because writing is what I do. Making strides to be all that God wants me to be creates a constant put on my mentals when I do not seem to identify with the traditions that history originally footprinted me into. How many people do you know seek for validation? My God, this is such an intimate and red faced topic but who gets it? Validation defined is to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of. I remember hearing when TD Jakes father passed, the poignant moment of his message that resonated with me was the time when he stood over his father’s grave commanding him to remind him of who he’d become and what would he be. Once a happy go lucky young boy walking it the footsteps of his father was now thinking the heavy thoughts of an orphan. Similarly, it felt as if the fabric of my identity was stripped when my parents passed away. Relationships with people and place did not appear to be the same. Interests that once captivated me did not. I remember getting in my car and running away….driving until my car was on empty unwilling to face the reality that I was going to learn to live life without them. My validity did not matter because it was swallowed up in silence and therefore so I became until God found me.
Coming out of validation addiction is like a person being weaned off of hard drug-.one step at a time, intense introspection, and the Word of God. It can be done and I am so sure of this. As a public affairs professional, servant of the Lord, doctoral student, and organizational consultant, absolutely everything that I do is heavily scrutinized by various eyes commenting and adding to or subtracting from the reality that I seek to create. As you move away from the reality of the world and into faith or from the seat of negativity to the seat of positivity, or even from the diaspora mindset to the kingdom mindset, you will not be able to allow the validation to move you. If the likers LIKE your post, it is really appreciated, if they comment, that is great too; but now more than ever, the time to be free is nigh.I am walking this out and it is liberating as you come into your Godself. When Adam and Eve were in the garden they were naked- chilling absolutely in the garden and wandering around until someone brought to their attention that they were NAKED (exposed). Their internal reality and peace had suddenly been overturned and what they believed to be true on the inside of them—the peace that passed all understanding had succumbed to the external reality around them. As a result they began to change—their clothes, their mindsets, etc.
Don’t allow the status and pictures on Facebook or other social media outlets to shake your core and make you believe that you are not valuable! Stop looking to the media to validate your existence or tell you how you can get a man in 15 days when they can’t even begin to tell you biblically how to keep him. Refrain from attempting to try social drugs at a house party or lounge because that one experience can get you hooked to a substance for life! Seen the METH billboards? Retreat to the top of your stairs or lay and stare at the ceiling and ask God to reveal himself to you and show you the plans that HE has for you! His plans and His validation are sure and trust me you will never be shaken.
I think it is time. Yes, it is time.
© OrphanNoMorePodcast. www.danitaogandaga.com
Danita Ogandaga, MSW 