Quickies, Rough Necks, and the Orphan Heart of a Woman


IF YOU’VE EVER BEEN ABUSED (sexually, verbally, or mentally) you’ll remember when pulling hair, talking loud,calling you out of your name all meant a brother loved you. Professing rough necks over preppy dudes, bored and wanting more. When you met the love of your life and he softly caressed your hair, you asked him what was wrong BECAUSE LOVE DON’T FEEL LIKE THAT…IT SUPPOSED TO HURT. On your wedding night you wondered why a brother took his time in the art of lovemaking rather than a drive-by quickie? You even asked him, what was wrong BECAUSE LOVE DON’T FEEL LIKE THAT…IT SUPPOSED TO BE QUICK. Now the love of your life confused wondering why he’s not enough for you. Okay…seriously disturbed.

I overheard this song in the gym yesterday, bobbing to it (I’m a music lover) until the lyrics got me choked like a chicken bone in my neck. WHA–WHAT? An artist wrote a song about a vulnerable sister vomiting a lyrical love manifesto saying “I’ll just go ahead and give you my treasure, it’s just sex, making love is for whimps, I don’t love myself, so I can’t be good to you, let’s just f (bleep), forget the what-ifs (pregnancy, STD’s and AIDS), no emotions attached. WHA-What? Strong set up for sexual addictions. The most vivid example of schizophrenia I’ve ever met. Wake up & rebel against tossing your purity, & distinguish between reality and fantasy.Let God restore you. You were made for more. My heart grieves for the woman on this picture because although cartoonish, she does exist and she is out there thinking that this collection of abuse that she experiencing is her forever reality. Like the woman who was at the well, she is an awesome candidate to experience the love of Father God and be set free from the chains that bound her. #orphannomore


$0.79 Therapy

$0.79 Therapy- Deliverance

$0.79 Therapy- Deliverance

Deliverance is not linear with a straight route and safe passage out of life’s situation. Rather it is a process of associations and decisions to continue walking in the direction of consistency. Thanking God for the power to keep walking in the path of freedom and security found in the word of God and the wisdom to know that but for the grace of God we are kept and made safe.


Get Up and Stay Out

ImageThis morning as I was preparing morning Tally and Mommy activity- gardening, I am looking at these flowers we purchased on yesterday and the colorful pots which we will extract and replant in the pot, as well as the bag of potting soil. While in the midst of this I hear, “Tell them to get up and stay out”. I obey so listen up….

Many of you I am sure may unknowingly find yourself in a state of anger, whether it is subtle and turned inward via depression or tossing glasses around the house due to your present circumstance. I am not going to ask you to raise your hand, cause I may not be able to recognize your faces, but many are trying to find your way through or out of your present day circumstance to the things that really hold value in your life.Your purpose.

With the state of the economy and the redlining um….redesigning of communities- whether by your volition or not, many people are on the other side of life in a pasture that is not looking so green right now. I am reminded of the post that my classmate Alicia Bryant wrote several weeks ago, referencing that God told you to go but he did not inform you that you’d have obstacles along the way. Man, if someone would have told me that I’d have to pray my way of out a eternal state of insanity after the death of both parents at the age of 21, I certainly would not have signed up for this journey. Especially then, at the critical juncture of the sealing of my identity- thank God for my brothers and sisters who told me, “Yes You Can”! What about you? I am sure many of you did not expect the doctor to tell you that you’d not be able to carry your child to term or you’d never lose the weight. Or your job will be ending in 30 days- the proverbial manager who informs you that even “his position is up for discussion”- Even with this— all while preparing the gardening activity for this morning, God was speaking to me about confidence. Looking at the pots, bag of soil, bucket of water, apron, tools, etc. God was speaking to me about those of us who are finding their way through and out–with what we now hold in our hands.

If life would come equipped with a GPS– there would be some happy people.. right Lisa? I mean if God could just inform us that okay 2 months from now you are gonna bid for your dream house but someone may try to block the process- I can at least prepare for the blow.. Right? Tommie said that the convenience of a GPS is that is requires no work, set-backs (well maybe a few depending on the brand), it’s 24/7, clear reception, for you to reach a fixed point. Well that may be the case, but we know that life is not a culmination of all those great catch phrases and that in this life, we will have trials and tribulations— we have been told not to sweat because we already won.. We have to know and resolve that our steps are ordered by God and although His process does require seeking him daily for direction in order to clearly hear him tell you where to go to your fixed point.

Remember Genesis- where Abraham was told to pack up and take a Greyhound out of his city— to a place that he’d be informed about ….later… I am sure there may have been some… well what will it look like or as my Grandma Sudie would say, well what do you want me to do then? Many of us have been uprooted from our comfort and are experiencing rootshock–maybe you lost your house due to foreclosure, or went from making $50K to $15k— whatever the lot we have been extracted —like the plant that Talmer-Marie and I are about to touch– and are being re-potted –repositioned.

For years I was a community organizer and social work instructor studying human behavior in the Hill District of Pittsburgh, PA. I studied the intricate details that led to the population shift in the Hill District community that ultimately bruised the fabric of the community’s economic stimulus and sense of community. With every new plan for change and every promise of hope, people were speculative and some were even apathetic to the process. This statement is not a negative connotation on the community that I love so much; however it is intended to give light to the possibility that many were being guided through a series of processes over and over that often times were a step in a process of other steps.The convenience of a predictable GPS “plan” worked but the plans were not enough to really meet the detailed niche of the community–thus setbacks were created. I wondered during my early days– well why can’t we just go in and fix it—— people are people with situations that need to be fixed– rootshock is systemic and geographical— but our mindset is the pilot. It was not until I practiced the Chinese proverb— Go to the people, learn from them, show them your strengths, they’ll show you theirs, swap weaknesses, devise a plan, and in the end, the people will say, We did it ourselves! We must be active participants to our change.

No matter if the circumstance was caused by your lack of attention or inflicted upon you, you must get up and stay out. Questioning yourself every morning with the How Did I Get Here story will only result in the creation of a famine in your mind and soul. When things around you may be drying up, the last thing you need is a dried up mind and soul. Stress is definitely that culprit because it deforms our physical and mental state and delays our peace and ability to hear from God. We got to get up and stay out.

So Danita, I am not working…..get up in the morning and wash your face, put on some deodorant and take a walk to the public library and search for opportunities. My husband left me for him…well get up and look at that picture of him and begin the process of releasing anger. I have been mad all my life because I don’t seem to be able to lose weight…girl — go and take them skinny jeans off- look in the mirror at yourself and assess your plan for change.

Yes, it may have come–is come to your house right now, but it will not stay for long. God will honor those who get up and stay out —of doubt, fear, scarcity, victimization, and inferiority. Utilize what you have in your hand—in your” potted” state. You may not believe that the “potted” plant has any stability– but God can anchor you tighter than you can imagine!

I love the part in the bible that says, Now it came to PASS…that there WAS a famine in the land.

The vagabond—may have been homeless and in a state of confusion but he eventually went to a new home. So will you