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YOU ARE HERE TONIGHT AT 9PM EST!

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Hello out there! I hope you are having an awesome day, really, I do. Did you know that more than 75% of the people on the planet ages 65 and above were asked recently what was the one thing in the world that they wish that they could change. Do you know that the number one answer was:

To not Worry! 

Wow, that sounds so cliche, but worry is an major stronghold that takes root in the lives of people when they have undergone a traumatic or chaotic event in their life which removes their sense of security. I am sure that this may have happened to you before. There are also many who have dealt with other addictive strongholds deeper than worry like prescription addictions, gambling, sex addictions, fame, etc to name a few. How many of you out there know that there is power in the name of Jesus to break every stronghold that may try to keep you in bondage?

Yes, it’s true. I hope that you can join me (Danita Ogandaga) and my friends, Mary Held and Larry Barnhill who are seasoned in working with people with addictions. Culminating the  ranges of cognitive, behavioral, spiritual, and physical senses, we’ll talk about Addictive Strongholds in detail tonight, right here on danitaogandaga.com. I hope that you will join us at 9pm EST! 

On Twitter? Submit your questions and keep the conversation going with the hashtag #orphannomore

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Symptomatology of Grief & Loss

Image Kubler-Ross five stages of grief are often sporadic reactions to a person receiving tragic news or experiencing a traumatic event. The defense mechanisms create opportunities for a person to cope through the stages of grief such as bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

 Bargaining is a postponement of the inevitable situation that the person is facing. The stage is brief yet potent as it attempts to create a system of rewards for behavior in exchange for longer life or time to settle differences or spend time with loved ones. Through the process of this stage, a person seeks to enter into a trance state of mind, absent from the pain of their illness or the shopping cart filled with prescription medications that they must take on a daily basis.

 Depression is the process of acceptance in the realization that the bargaining will no longer suffice and a person’s reality must prevail (Kubler-Ross, 1997). In this mindset, anger is turned inward and the person makes a decision to remove themselves from the participatory factor of their life.

 Acceptance is a state of looking to what is ahead in expectation that it is better than the trials or issues they are currently facing. It is a peace that surpassed all of the understanding that they hold and in some cases an inner knowing that all will be well.

 My mother, Talmer Joyce Solomon experienced these stages of a regular basis as she courageously faced her battle with advanced stage cancer. The news came at a time inconvenient for our family of course, having just loss a cousin to murder and a grandfather to illness. Having just lost my father to a massive heart attack 1 month before, my mother confidently planned my 21st birthday party at my aunt’s house. Not really in a mood to celebrate, our family collectively mustard courage to do so. At this stage, my mother was quite frail and had begun to weaken yet she still attended and actively participated in my birthday festivities.

 From the planning of my sister-in-law’s bridal shower, preaching at her church, to attending my birthday party, my mother did not have to cut deals with God because she was a woman of faith and I believe, bargain, or no bargain, she was blessed with “stronger” days than “weaker” days so that she could enjoy her children and assist us in our grief from my dad’s death. I believe that her seeing us laughing and carrying on gave her a peace in knowing that we could continue to function with time and have parties to celebrate our birthdays with the absence of her and our father.

 The bargaining and depression stage for my mother was short-lived because while at my party, her breathing began to slow and she grew tired quicker so she needed to lie down and rest. I remember leaving my party and going home with my mom and laying down next to her on the bed listening to her breath with great effort. It was apparent that her lungs were filling with fluids but she did not complain. I remember just laying next to her as she slept asking God to heal her.

 The acceptance for my mom came in the form of asking God for “divine healing”. Although I was at an age to understand what this meant and not being able to speak for my siblings, I believe that my mother had accepted that the doctors could do all that they could having accepted that long life with no hurt, for her, meant relocation to a space that was out of this world. So far away and unable to call collect, I eventually accepted her desire and supported her decision to make preparations to join my father, her husband in heaven. Her acceptance was letting us go and as was ours to let her go. With much courage as acceptance requires, we let go (Kubler- Ross, 1997).

 Danita Akendengue-Ogandaga

 References

Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Scribner.