Conferences & Webinairs, Grief & Loss

Grieving the Living: What To Do When He’s Just Not That Into You

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It’s almost time for the 2013 Seasons of Grief Seminar in Fayetteville, Georgia tomorrow! See you at the Library Auditorium at 7pm. In the meantime, if you’ve been following my facebook page    I’ve been listing Grief Tips to assist you with dealing with personal loss due to the death of a loved one, things, or position in your life. Check it out!

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Well, we’re one day away from the event, so here is Grief Tip #10: Grieving the Living? He’s just not that into you? There will come a time when you’ll meet someone who won’t appreciate your goodness & your offerings. Learning how to accept this truth will free you to move forward into what God has for you. The bible says we were made in God’s image so don’t let a man or woman try to make you into something you were NOT created to be. So they’re married and you still waiting? Mistresses aren’t cute okay. You are worthy, accepted, deserving of a full-time love! #dontwantnoscrubs #getoutthatbedPamhttps://danitaogandaga.com/

January 2014 we’re organizing to come to a city near you. Send us an email if you want Seasons of Grief to come to your area or be apart of your event.

Group Coaching Program is coming back starting January 2014 as well. Send inquiries to our contact icon.

Love you lots and remember Hope Starts Today!

Danita*

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Go Get It: Getting Your Passion

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“God allowed us to reach this point in order to take us to the next level.”. These were the words of Erica speaking of the relationship with her sister and the eminent sabbatical of the group Mary Mary. I’ve enjoyed watching their show for the past two seasons on WE and have appreciated the position they have taken as a gospel group going mainstream with their edgy yet anointed songs that transform our thinking and motivate us to go for everything God has for us.

Yet in the midst of watching their show tonight titled, “Fight of a Lifetime”. I am sure that it indeed has been a fight of a lifetime for many people. I sense that there are many people in a stage of life where they want to break out from the normalcy that they have been engaged in and return to their happy place. In 2012 Forbes Magazine reported that only nineteen percent (19%) of people were satisfied on their jobs. Many of them often worked from their cubicle fantasizing of the clock striking five o’clock so like Clark Kent, they could turn into their Superman “type” in the studio, at the sewing machine, or in the kitchen.

Whether that happy place is a six figure corporate executive leaving his position to save children on the streets of Cambodia or a medical doctor who decides to become an entrepreneur, or like Mary Mary, it may be that you suddenly realize that your passion for touring and making records has blessed you to arrive to a wonderful place in your life filled with fortune and fame; yet the passion of changing diapers and being a housewife is the calling that you wish to walk in. Whatever your expression, the chains of obligation are slowly falling off many and they are becoming impressed with conviction to follow the road less traveled and get to the essence of getting to their own happy.

From the time we start school, we are taught to get a good education and play sports so we can get a scholarship. Our expression in school may have been art class or baking cookies or for others designing software. Technology and passion have cleared the way for many to develop their successful vocations without stepping foot into the walls of a university. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, to name a few are successful innovators who traveled the road less traveled and the against the opinions of man to follow their dreams.

Mary Mary have experienced an awesome career that has spanned many years and have opened the door to other gospel artists breaking into the mainstream. Despite what they may choose in their path, the decision to follow their peace will be their ultimate success.

P.S. Thanks for reading this post. I hope that you will comment and share your experience. For additional information on developing the power to express yourself, stop by my store for my audio teaching I delivered in Kinston, North Carolina called “The Power of Expression and Knowing God for Yourself.

Love you and God loves you double!

Danita  Ogandaga

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Symptomatology of Grief & Loss

Image Kubler-Ross five stages of grief are often sporadic reactions to a person receiving tragic news or experiencing a traumatic event. The defense mechanisms create opportunities for a person to cope through the stages of grief such as bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

 Bargaining is a postponement of the inevitable situation that the person is facing. The stage is brief yet potent as it attempts to create a system of rewards for behavior in exchange for longer life or time to settle differences or spend time with loved ones. Through the process of this stage, a person seeks to enter into a trance state of mind, absent from the pain of their illness or the shopping cart filled with prescription medications that they must take on a daily basis.

 Depression is the process of acceptance in the realization that the bargaining will no longer suffice and a person’s reality must prevail (Kubler-Ross, 1997). In this mindset, anger is turned inward and the person makes a decision to remove themselves from the participatory factor of their life.

 Acceptance is a state of looking to what is ahead in expectation that it is better than the trials or issues they are currently facing. It is a peace that surpassed all of the understanding that they hold and in some cases an inner knowing that all will be well.

 My mother, Talmer Joyce Solomon experienced these stages of a regular basis as she courageously faced her battle with advanced stage cancer. The news came at a time inconvenient for our family of course, having just loss a cousin to murder and a grandfather to illness. Having just lost my father to a massive heart attack 1 month before, my mother confidently planned my 21st birthday party at my aunt’s house. Not really in a mood to celebrate, our family collectively mustard courage to do so. At this stage, my mother was quite frail and had begun to weaken yet she still attended and actively participated in my birthday festivities.

 From the planning of my sister-in-law’s bridal shower, preaching at her church, to attending my birthday party, my mother did not have to cut deals with God because she was a woman of faith and I believe, bargain, or no bargain, she was blessed with “stronger” days than “weaker” days so that she could enjoy her children and assist us in our grief from my dad’s death. I believe that her seeing us laughing and carrying on gave her a peace in knowing that we could continue to function with time and have parties to celebrate our birthdays with the absence of her and our father.

 The bargaining and depression stage for my mother was short-lived because while at my party, her breathing began to slow and she grew tired quicker so she needed to lie down and rest. I remember leaving my party and going home with my mom and laying down next to her on the bed listening to her breath with great effort. It was apparent that her lungs were filling with fluids but she did not complain. I remember just laying next to her as she slept asking God to heal her.

 The acceptance for my mom came in the form of asking God for “divine healing”. Although I was at an age to understand what this meant and not being able to speak for my siblings, I believe that my mother had accepted that the doctors could do all that they could having accepted that long life with no hurt, for her, meant relocation to a space that was out of this world. So far away and unable to call collect, I eventually accepted her desire and supported her decision to make preparations to join my father, her husband in heaven. Her acceptance was letting us go and as was ours to let her go. With much courage as acceptance requires, we let go (Kubler- Ross, 1997).

 Danita Akendengue-Ogandaga

 References

Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Scribner.