Conferences & Webinairs

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Community Holiday Grief Workshops coming soon!

 

 

grief

Okay, I am so excited to announce that danitaogandaga.com will be hosing a series Community Holiday Grief Workshops starting next month!

The holidays are coming but you’re not ready yet? There are so many people that are wondering how they are going to be able to make it through the next two festive- filled holidays without falling apart.

No matter what stage of grief you are in or from what (death, loss of job, foreclosure, displacement, abortion), get equipped to heal your hurts this holiday season.

Details coming!#hopestartstoday

God loves you so much!

Danita Ogandaga

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$0.79 Therapy

$0.79 Therapy: Nurturing Hurt

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Many of us are sitting in our rocking chairs rocking hurt back and forth like a newborn. Gazing into our eyes, offering much hope and promise for the future, hurt lends itself to the summary of your pain.

When we nurture hope, we are taking the position that there is no other answer for our situation other than to accept what we have been given and just live life daily – dealing with whatever comes our way. This is not abundant life that Daddy God came to give us.

Your milk is precious gold and it is being expended to keep a method thinking alive that you were never meant to support. Whether church hurt, or he/she hurt, family hurt, work hurt, or environmental hurt; it is time to get a new meaning for the precious life that you have been given.

Change you name from Bonny Hurt to Bonny Free!

Thanks for supporting danitaogandaga.com. Feel free to share your story below!

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Symptomatology of Grief & Loss

Image Kubler-Ross five stages of grief are often sporadic reactions to a person receiving tragic news or experiencing a traumatic event. The defense mechanisms create opportunities for a person to cope through the stages of grief such as bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

 Bargaining is a postponement of the inevitable situation that the person is facing. The stage is brief yet potent as it attempts to create a system of rewards for behavior in exchange for longer life or time to settle differences or spend time with loved ones. Through the process of this stage, a person seeks to enter into a trance state of mind, absent from the pain of their illness or the shopping cart filled with prescription medications that they must take on a daily basis.

 Depression is the process of acceptance in the realization that the bargaining will no longer suffice and a person’s reality must prevail (Kubler-Ross, 1997). In this mindset, anger is turned inward and the person makes a decision to remove themselves from the participatory factor of their life.

 Acceptance is a state of looking to what is ahead in expectation that it is better than the trials or issues they are currently facing. It is a peace that surpassed all of the understanding that they hold and in some cases an inner knowing that all will be well.

 My mother, Talmer Joyce Solomon experienced these stages of a regular basis as she courageously faced her battle with advanced stage cancer. The news came at a time inconvenient for our family of course, having just loss a cousin to murder and a grandfather to illness. Having just lost my father to a massive heart attack 1 month before, my mother confidently planned my 21st birthday party at my aunt’s house. Not really in a mood to celebrate, our family collectively mustard courage to do so. At this stage, my mother was quite frail and had begun to weaken yet she still attended and actively participated in my birthday festivities.

 From the planning of my sister-in-law’s bridal shower, preaching at her church, to attending my birthday party, my mother did not have to cut deals with God because she was a woman of faith and I believe, bargain, or no bargain, she was blessed with “stronger” days than “weaker” days so that she could enjoy her children and assist us in our grief from my dad’s death. I believe that her seeing us laughing and carrying on gave her a peace in knowing that we could continue to function with time and have parties to celebrate our birthdays with the absence of her and our father.

 The bargaining and depression stage for my mother was short-lived because while at my party, her breathing began to slow and she grew tired quicker so she needed to lie down and rest. I remember leaving my party and going home with my mom and laying down next to her on the bed listening to her breath with great effort. It was apparent that her lungs were filling with fluids but she did not complain. I remember just laying next to her as she slept asking God to heal her.

 The acceptance for my mom came in the form of asking God for “divine healing”. Although I was at an age to understand what this meant and not being able to speak for my siblings, I believe that my mother had accepted that the doctors could do all that they could having accepted that long life with no hurt, for her, meant relocation to a space that was out of this world. So far away and unable to call collect, I eventually accepted her desire and supported her decision to make preparations to join my father, her husband in heaven. Her acceptance was letting us go and as was ours to let her go. With much courage as acceptance requires, we let go (Kubler- Ross, 1997).

 Danita Akendengue-Ogandaga

 References

Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Scribner.