$0.79 Therapy

$0.79 Therapy- Love on Purpose

The ability to love others begins with the ability to love yourself. Dealing with the painful *ish that life serves you can present challenge after challenge but you must remain connected to the love that is within yourself. Spreading love like wildflowers is great but what happens when the smoke of residual love starts shooting from your life like a car choking on fumes? You can not give someone something that you do not have.

For a long time, I walked around life tip-toeing on the issue of loving myself. I was an orphan and everything that I did was through the eyes of a hurt little girl who lost both parents. The light in my eyes turned dim and I felt as though I had to be all things to all people to make it in the world. In the process of being all things to all people, I realized that at the end of the day, I would always come up short and feel bankrupt -emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

The ones that I thought I could depend on disappointed me everytime and I learned the language of compensation, making the whole world pay for their mistake and my ultimate shortage of feeling causing me to have a conditional love for myself.

I’ll say it again…….You can not give someone what you do not have. You can’t dish out heaps of love to other when you are struggling to love yourself. Love is a word that is fickle and must endure through many situations to stand the test of time. Love has always been the foundation of what we do and who we are; but many have lost the connection to love due to the presence of pain.

Pain can cause the sensititvity of love to be hard as rocks and unable to translate into any hope for the future. Love is a powerful emotion. For you to love others, you must connect with the love you have for yourself. It has always been there, yet many people are disconnected from loving yourself due to layers of fat, addictive habits, abused relationships, words that scar, and situations that don’t have a silver lining.

Remember this:

Love is love and is so strong it can melt the hearts of the hurt with one encounter, turning the conditional into unconditional.

Think about the following question?

What parts of your authentic self did you have to hide or camouflage in your childhood?

At the heart of each of us is an authentic self that is waiting to love and be loved. Getting to the heart of the issues that consume us and stop us from moving forward in life is essential for us to keep the progression strong for loving ourselves. Getting to the heart of the issues that are consuming us is the only way to ensure that we will not slip out of like with ourselves and enter into a state of perpetual blaming and self-infliction leading to a a cycle of abuse. There is no need to hide those sections of yourself that make you who you are because they are deeply rooted and must surface for the essenceof you to be expressed.

God has placed an authentic expression in each of us. He wants us to love ourselves on purpose so that we are free to love others unconditionally.

Gheesh……..I really enjoyed writing this piece and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please feel free to share your story of loving on purpose in the comment section below.

With love,

Danita

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Orphan Spirit

Or·phan: Mission for the Fatherless

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Do you find yourself all dressed up waiting to become someone’s prized possession and the focus of their affection? The imagery of brides are pure and beautiful and are on display waiting to be filled with the will of their future. They are in expectation and free to walk forward and away from the shame of their past. All things have become new. Yet, for many people who have a renewed mindset, there are a million things that are attempting to prevent them from moving foward into the things that give purpose, joy, and peace. They are orphaned and feeling unworthy, stuck, muted, and disconnected from their future. They need to be sparked, affirmed, and reminded that while the world is turning, so are they.

So many people are walking around the world today in an orphaned state disconnected from the very source of life and clinging onto those things which affirm them or give them a false sense of identity. At some point in life, you realize that in the stillness of quiteness, when you are alone and without your friends, or in the shopping malls spending money, or around that circle of people snorting coke, you are and have always belonged to someone and that someone is waiting for you to come home.

Fatherless is at an all time high in the world today and there are many people who are dealing with the residual effects of not having a father figure in their lives. This in part, is preventing them from accepting the true love of the father, Daddy God and being baptized by the love of God. Abandoned, molested, broken, battered, and rejected are the descriptions that come after the names of many and their cycle continues like a broken record playing over and over.

There was  a time in my life when I had lost my worth and value not feeling connected to anyone or anything. My orphaned moment came at the point of my parents passing away. Not sure how I was going to survive, I turned to the world to affirm me and give me a sense of belonging. I was choking on a minute by minute basis from negative beliefs about myself wondering how I was gonna be able to continue my performance in the church with my parents being gone and how I was going to be received in the world; a world that I had been sheltered from as a child because I was in the church? From every angle that I could see, I was an orphan living in a state of confusion and unsure how to get connected to some source, the source that could take the pain away and move me forward from my frozen state of hurt.

What is an orphan?

1. a child who has lost both parents through death, or, less commonly, one parent.
2. a young animal that has been deserted by or has lost its mother.
3. a person or thing that is without protective affiliation, sponsorship, etc.: The committee is an orphan of the previous administration.

Remember the orphan named Annie? She was in a racheet state living in an orphanage and instantly took a leadership role against her wretched caretaker, Ms. Hannigan. Over the course of time, Annie gets adopted by Daddy Warbucks and is taken to live with him. She is exposed to a brand new life. How many of us, once we are exposed to a brand new life, mindset, perspective, and peace resort back to a former mindset wanting to re-wrap ourselves in the chains and barbed wires of our past? Constantly searching for validity in the purse or the shoes or the man to affirm us when we know those things or people have no power to do so. Their affirmation lasts but a minute and then their attention shifts to the box full of people who are standing in the line of affirmation to be stamped with a seal of approval.

God does not work like that. In fact, he states in Jeremiah 1:5 that “Before you were formed in your mother’s womb, I knew you and approved of you!” That is good news, so no matter where we go or what we do, there is nothing that we can do that will take us out of God’s love for us.

Remember the woman at the well? It is a timeless story of a woman in the Bible who has been the victim of circumstance. She was involved in a revolving door romances and connected to men who belonged to another woman. Not having an identity or connection of belonging to someone; she availed her self to become someone’s night dream- then wet dream- an experience that can promise no dreams or hopes for the future. The woman at the well, in the midst of all the handprints and guilty actions came face to face with Jesus Christ and was instantly affirmed and identified as His own. In the very moment in a twinkling of an eye, she was changed and forgiven, free from the barbed wire that confined her and released from the shame of her past. What a love.

Just as births occur daily, orphans are created daily and Daddy God is the only one that can help free you from this debilitating mindset. Let him in.