Category: Uncategorized

Relationships, Uncategorized

Get Up & Go Home: Breaking Soul Ties

danitaogandaga

Vibe-Vixen-90-Day-Rule

Watching the television for moments at a time these days can translate into to almost catching a case of the “Man I remember that” moments if you are not careful. From the Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta  to Marrying the Game to Mr. and Mrs. Jones, the world is hard knocked focused on watching so many women and men continue to sell themselves short while they are going through and agonizing season of singlehood. Although it has not been published alot, not everyone is following the Jones’s and you can have heaven on earth in the arms of one man and not playing the role of Jezebel on steroids thugging your way into the arms of another man.

I’ve spent the later part of this year providing expressive therapy to man women and men who are dealing with abandonment and  orphaned issues which have created a centrality of trauma causing them to, in anger, and often times without feeling, engage in extra marital relationships or become the subject add-on of one functioning as a mistress or mister. Either way, the development of these relationships was birthed out of pain and the need to feel desired while secure. Through a process of identifying a type of person that could be massaged into a profile suitable for sex on the side, these affairs sickly provide a safe haven for the emotional to feel at ease.

In the midst of feeling at ease, once the sex has died down, the making of a soul tie has manifested and as you already know, condoms may be able to keep you from getting pregnant, but they will NOT prevent you from developing a soul tie.

So what is it already? A soul tie is an emotional attachment that is developed via vows, commitments, sexual or emotional exchanges that people engage in. The process of the exchange creates a bridge where information and needs are communicated and transferred. Woman are the holders of the majority of the information and needs that are transferred simply because of the nature of our anatomy. We are receivers so the development of the soul tie is stored within us.

From Mark to Corinthians, the bible is clear about the joining of one man and one woman together and the forming of a unit. Imagine when that unit between a woman and a man is comprised with the continual revolving door of relationships and soul ties that develop as a result of break-ups to make-ups to meet-ups to sex-up, etc.

2013 is the beginning of a new era of grace and God wants you to walk free of the shame of your past so if you are holding this pattern of why am I constantly choosing this person over and over again, it may be time to stop looking at the person and the spirit of the person whose pattern keeps vying for your attention.

The Orphan No More podcast and Danitaogandaga.com Expressive Therapy is here to remind you that God loves you, in fact, He always has and always will love you and you can get free of every bondage that you have been entangled with. There is power in the name of Jesus to break each and every chain that holds you bound.

There is good news if you want to break out of your chain:

  1. Simply ask God to deliver you of the sin that you are entangled with. Then repent asking God for forgiveness and purpose in your heart to turn completely away from Pookie and Tyrone even when it gets cold outside.
  2. Reverse the curse. Renounce any and every tie that you have had with a person or persons. Proverbs 21:23 in the message translation says He who guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from calamity. Well, that means that you have the power to speak life and continue to thank God for your deliverance.
  3. Forgive Yourself and the Offenders. From Genesis to Revelations, there are so many scriptures that encourage us to forgive. The main person to forgive is yourself. When we come to our senses, we actually realize that we were led away and distracted but now that we are sober, we should forgive ourselves as well as the parties involved.

Most importantly, know that God loves you and He always will. There is nothing that you can do to prevent Him from loving you. I encourage you to keep walking forward in the direction of your healing and in the days ahead, keep reading scriptures that feed your faith and starve your doubts.

For more intensive work in dealing with the trauma of your past, check out our Get to Work+Services section on our website. Group and individual coaching and expressive therapy will begin the second week of January 2013.

God bless you!

Uncategorized

The Morning After: Coping with anxiety as a result of mass killings from Henan, China to Newton, Connecticut

danitaogandaga

by Danita Ogandaga, MSW

On Friday, December 14, families in China and Connecticut both faced a horrific series of violence where children were massacred by knives and guns like a person practicing at a gun range. In China, 22 children between the ages of six and twelve years old and adults were stabbed at the Chenpeng Village Primary School in Henan, China. Some of the children had severed ears and fingers. Before entering the school, Min Yingjun, 36, decided to stab an elderly woman after breaking into her home. Mental illness has been blamed as the culprit for this heinous crime.

Image Photo: Xinhua Photoshoot

The children in Newton, Connecticut faced a very different end and paid the price with their lives. Adam Lanska, 24, slaughtered twenty children between the ages of six and seven years old also killing six adults. The chief medical examiner, H. Wayne Carver, noted that many of the children suffered three to eleven shots each. This was simply an unspeakable tragedy.

Image Photo: AP Photo/Shannon Hicks

Daily news and police sirens increase on the streets as people across the world see the heightened response to violence that is occurring at the response of one person’s sole decision to end their lives by taking the lives of others. It is not enough that those persons who are giving up on life are leaving behind score of grief for their family and friends to process and sort through, but the acts of violence permeate into society for the lives of the innocent and unsuspecting are cut down like grass with no chance of fulfilling their future.

This weekend had me keeping abreast of the grief that the nation is experiencing in light of the tragedies in Connecticut. As a behavioral therapist myself, I managed a caseload of clients this weekend who are dealing with holiday blues, suicidal ideations, and complicated grief due to post-abortion and life trauma. Aware of the essential need to practice self-care, I spent most of the weekend in prayer and with a close attachment to my toddler who I carefully kept in sight. Looking at her often, I found myself gazing in and out of what most psychologist’s term third party grief, where you look upon a situation wondering how you would respond and I simply found myself confessing the word of God, commanding peace in my walls and healing for the hearts of the families everywhere. Most of all, I began praying in the spirit for the persons who find their minds slowly drifting from them as they yield themselves to receiving demonic instruction on how to carry out their suicide and mass homicides.

My mind drifted back to the time when she first entered the world and I wondered how I would ever trust anyone with my gift from God. I am sure that as parents, many of us go through the motions where we also have to develop a strong skin of trust for others to care for our children. In light of the two school tragedies that occurred this weekend, I, like many people I communicated with this weekend whether at the Farmer’s Market or the boutique all had the same concerns…would we be able to release our children to school on Monday morning? Locks on doors (check), security in the parking lot (check), sign-in and out procedures followed (check) all bases had been covered. There had been no prior assurance released from her school as to how the security would be increased so reluctant, I wanted to keep her with me and suddenly realized that I had allowed the door of fear to come in.

I must admit, releasing my daughter to her school this morning was difficult but I am thankful that I am a believer of God’s word and I rest in His promises of protection. In preparation for the day, I listened to Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind CD as well as my pastors, Pastor Creflo and Taffi Dollars’ confessions over fear for the family. I am thankful to God that faith came after feeding my faith and starving my doubts on my daughter as well as children everywhere would be protected. I encourage you to do the same today. We lift up the families in China and Connecticut and request the hand of God to balm their heart to not be overtaken by this enormous tragedy that has rocked a small town where everyone is interconnected. While doing so, close the fear that may try to seep into your family life by continuously praying for your children and declaring Psalms 91 over them as well as their schools. Our nation needs the hand of God and we need Him at the center of our lives.

Take the time to listen to a recent confession over fear that can be found on Youtube by clicking: 

http://youtu.be/eudzgH8HLmE

                If you are wondering how you will survive the crisis in your life, view my latest Youtube video by clicking:  http://youtu.be/EvdXbSIWo44

God loves you. He always has and I am certain that He always will. Keep God at your center and trust that His promises to keep you safe and in peace are sure.