$0.79 Therapy

$0.79 Therapy- Love on Purpose

The ability to love others begins with the ability to love yourself. Dealing with the painful *ish that life serves you can present challenge after challenge but you must remain connected to the love that is within yourself. Spreading love like wildflowers is great but what happens when the smoke of residual love starts shooting from your life like a car choking on fumes? You can not give someone something that you do not have.

For a long time, I walked around life tip-toeing on the issue of loving myself. I was an orphan and everything that I did was through the eyes of a hurt little girl who lost both parents. The light in my eyes turned dim and I felt as though I had to be all things to all people to make it in the world. In the process of being all things to all people, I realized that at the end of the day, I would always come up short and feel bankrupt -emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

The ones that I thought I could depend on disappointed me everytime and I learned the language of compensation, making the whole world pay for their mistake and my ultimate shortage of feeling causing me to have a conditional love for myself.

I’ll say it again…….You can not give someone what you do not have. You can’t dish out heaps of love to other when you are struggling to love yourself. Love is a word that is fickle and must endure through many situations to stand the test of time. Love has always been the foundation of what we do and who we are; but many have lost the connection to love due to the presence of pain.

Pain can cause the sensititvity of love to be hard as rocks and unable to translate into any hope for the future. Love is a powerful emotion. For you to love others, you must connect with the love you have for yourself. It has always been there, yet many people are disconnected from loving yourself due to layers of fat, addictive habits, abused relationships, words that scar, and situations that don’t have a silver lining.

Remember this:

Love is love and is so strong it can melt the hearts of the hurt with one encounter, turning the conditional into unconditional.

Think about the following question?

What parts of your authentic self did you have to hide or camouflage in your childhood?

At the heart of each of us is an authentic self that is waiting to love and be loved. Getting to the heart of the issues that consume us and stop us from moving forward in life is essential for us to keep the progression strong for loving ourselves. Getting to the heart of the issues that are consuming us is the only way to ensure that we will not slip out of like with ourselves and enter into a state of perpetual blaming and self-infliction leading to a a cycle of abuse. There is no need to hide those sections of yourself that make you who you are because they are deeply rooted and must surface for the essenceof you to be expressed.

God has placed an authentic expression in each of us. He wants us to love ourselves on purpose so that we are free to love others unconditionally.

Gheesh……..I really enjoyed writing this piece and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please feel free to share your story of loving on purpose in the comment section below.

With love,

Danita

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Culture & Communications

Ok…..So What Now? 4 Steps To Getting Your *ish Back

This past weekend was filled with a bunch of phone conversations with clients who all seemed to be working on the same important issue in their lives……..self-acceptance to love God more. Each conversation was a reminder of the past issues that each one had encountered which caused them to feel as though they were stuck in a twilight zone unable to get past the present and past failures that entangled them. The failures often came in the flavor of relationships, friendships, sour business deals, job promotions, and conception. No matter what the situation was the underpinning was a question that sounded and reverbed every chamber of their ear, ” Ok, so now that I failed, what now?

This question, in my eyes, is worth the $0.79 Therapy that I send to over 5,500 people everytime I publish this blog. Check it out here. Every situation that we face in life is an opportunity to grow. In my personal life, when I think of the countless times in thirty four years that I have undertaken new ventures, it makes me want to sit down for a tall iced coffee with milk. Moving to three new cities within a four year period, marrying a man from another country and learning his culture and language, having a baby, teaching in front of students who were my professional peers, or getting in front of the crowd at Apache Cafe and spitting my poetry to the masses. Whew, just the thought of them makes me want to grab a seat as I write this post. Where did I muster the courage to conquer the whole of these things?

 Why would I want to continue searching for things to conquer after doing so many things thus far? After all, the likelihood of failing is much greater because after all, years have passed and so has my resistance to handle failure—-why would anyone want to set themselves up for failure? This question continues to linger in the heads and mindsets of most. Playing it safe in life only guarantees that the path will continue to be straight but best believe that the weather forecast may throw in some rain and other turbulence from time to time but even through that the ability to remain focused is an essential trait to have for your journey.

 One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 28:1 declaring that, “the righteous are as bold as a lion.” When we make the decision to step out after a failed series of attempts that gives us the courage to press into our future and obtain closer results for what we are destined to become. When we allow fear to enter into our mindset and cloud our judgment, we become paralyzed, insecure, and unable to function. Fear does not show up to a pity party alone; it brings cousin Condemnation, cousin Discouragement, and cousin Guilt.

 Making the decision to try a new thing may be just what the doctor has ordered in your life. It may be that your husband left you and you find yourself stuck in your home after work afraid to go out of the house. Make a decision to accept the decision for him to leave (only you know what prompted the decision) and begin to pick up the residuals of your life while pressing into your future. You may find that rather than going home after work, taking a trip to the local coffee shop and reading your favorite book may be tremendous healing for your mind, body, and spirit. Coming to terms with the grief issue in your life is the first step in receiving your healing and ultimately fulfilling their destiny.

 1. Ask for Help– God is an awesome helper and he longs for the opportunity to provide guidance and direction to his children. After all, another one of my favorite scriptures says that before we were formed in our mother’s womb, he knew us and had an awesome planned arranged for us before the foundations of the world. How cool is that! Just talk to him, without the long drawn out words and actions this time. I find two words most helpful to get the assistance that I need. I simply say, “Daddy, help!”

2. Give It Your All– When we have encountered disappointments in the past, it is easy to enter a new venture with half the passion that we exerted in the first go round. Many of us find it easy to remain in the land of complacent, after all, with the way the world is going now, it would be easier to just sit back and enjoy that boring job we hold and fake happy the rest of our life without trying to find the footprint trail of our God-born destiny…Right? Well, no, why can’t we encounter both, the right to pursue anything and everything that we believe is leading us to the purpose that God has put inside of us. God wants us to be those bold lions that are not afraid to step out to seek the passion that has been placed within us so give it your all.

3. Do It Afraid-Baby steps eventually create giant steps and with the help of the Holy Spirit you will develop deeper understanding, wisdom, and custom revelation to handle the issues that you are confronted with. In the event that you encounter interference coming in the form of distractions, setbacks, sour deals, fractured relationships, stay focused and if you have to, as Joyce Meyer so boldly said, “Do it Afraid.” The art of being bold requires you to step outside of the confidence that we hold for ourselves and get equipped with the supernatural assistance of the Holy Spirit who knows everything. How can we possibly fail with help like that?

4. Report Identity Theft and Snatch Your *ish Back– A crime can leave you feeling violated and insecure of who holds you, your information, and the balance of the transactions you will have to come. There is nothing more personal than your *ish because that is the place where the intimate details of your life are stored. Your ‘ish is your past, present, and future function junction whether positive or negative that makes you the collective person that you are.

John 10:10 says that the thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy so we know that his visit is up to no good. The thief is an intrusion into everything that we will ever attempt to step out on, so rather than giving him the satisfaction, keep pressing into what you believe your purpose is. God knows the very hairs on your head so please know that he is concerned about everything that concerns you.

It is essential that you maintain your identity and not try to fall into the embrace of culture and society to measure the purpose that has been placed inside of you. Often times, persons that are aware of your dream may not be able to help you move forward because they are frozen with doubt and belief and unwilling to move forward into their own purpose.

That does not mean you have to stay there too so get to steppin into your purpose and go get your *ish back!