Relationships

The Front Porch: The Waiting Room by Danita Ogandaga

Front porches are so quaint and serve as a beautiful introduction to a home. I like to think of front porches as a waiting room of sort. Some overflowing with rocking chairs and plants and some bear with a single chair. I am sure that many people have had an awesome experience in life while sitting on the porch. For those friends of mine that may be from various sections of the world, the porch is defined as a structure attached to the exterior of a building often forming a covered entrance. The definition is solid but does no justice for the cultural symbolism that a porch holds for the American and their front porch. The porch fosters an amazing connection between nature and land, safety and security, the level of control one has between the world and the domain of his or her home.

Formation of Community- Growing up on Desmond Street in Kinston, North Carolina was an amazing experience. To the left of my street would be the Koonce, Dillahunt, and Platt families and to the right of me would be the Rhem, King, and Smith families. Whether the weather was cold or hot, you could be sure that at some point of the day, you would have a member of those family members sitting on that porch. Before I could even walk, my mother and my father would always encourage me to greet my neighbors when coming out of the house and getting into the car. The idea of offering a greeting was a sign of respect and reverence for the neighbors who assisted in creating community on my street.

Porches have been creating venues for socialization for many years which has lead to the formation of community. I remember the farmers coming into town stopping on my street and watching my mom go to the porch to purchase her vegetables and fruits. There were times when my father would give the payment for our life insurance policy to the agent….on the porch. We would venture off of our porch and walk to the porch of our new neighbors who moved into the community. The porch was the holding space that fostered much opportunity to building lasting friendships; building familiarity beyond the sidewalk and not yet achieving the intimacy of entering the house. It was overall, a healthy balance of a new beginning.

Nurturing the Psychiatric Core- My parents were ministers, so I was a PK (Preacher’s Kid) two times over. Still, I witnessed several occasions where my parents would counsel married couples, engaged couples, and family issues on the porch. The furniture on the porch got a lot of wear and tear from our family as we would use the porch as a common ground to air the issues were facing as a family in addition to celebrating the positive moments like birthdays, holidays, and other events.

Families use the porch as a common ground to resolve issues about which kid knocked the hose over and how it would be resolved. The porch was a civil arena where people could come with no reservations to establish a non-threatening environment for creative resolutions to making everything better. Bringing the neighborhood and the community together and provoking opportunities to invoke awareness and prompt care, the porches of the world, whether public or private, are a waiting room for change.

This weekend, my family and I were engaged in our weekend activities which included the following, to name a few:

Visiting family members for Tally to play with her cousins
Taking a trip to our International Farmer’s Market
Business meetings with clients
Courting at our local cafe
Walking a trail at our local park
Checking out or returning books at our local library

In the midst of doing all of this traveling and back and forth, while out visiting our Aunt and Uncle in the northern part of Georgia, we realized that while attempting to get to their home early, we were locked out and did not want to wait in the car. So instead of complaining, we just took the time to take the funny pictures, get in sneezing matches due to the pollen affects, sing our favorite songs, and just look into each other’s eyes and just be……one, with each other. It was such an awesome experience to be able to take the time to star gaze into each other’s eyes…..that was until we realized that the door was open and our Aunt and Uncle had entered the house from the rear and had been waiting for us to come in for about twenty minutes! It was hilarious, but the time we spent on that pollen- filled porch was priceless!

Enjoy your family; enjoy your porch!

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Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.-1 Peter 4:12-13

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mInD x 2: tHe TrAp Of DoUbLeMiNdNeSs

Being of two minds just don’t mix. First you get your mind set and your direction fixed only to find that straight ahead there something fresher, cleaner, wiser, more leaner than what you had before. Looking at what you have and measuring it against what you’re seeing can cause one to develop blindness due to a perpetual state of double-mindedness in your mentality, physical being, and your purpose for life.

Certainty is defined as that perfect knowledge that has total security from error and the state of being without doubt yet once a quality decision is reached and doublemindness comes the strength to keep keeping on when life start looking crazy have you wanting to pop about 2-3-4 rolaids or drink a ginger ale to aleviate the heart burn you feel.

Galatians 5:7 asked, “Who cut into your race and stopped you from running a good race towards your destined finish towards the truth?”Whether the devil or his grandmother or your neighbor and their friends, there are things that cut into our path that cause us to feel justified that we should continue gravitating towards a belief–whether emotionalism or a sense of entitlement due to past hurts in life even when we know that the truth is that those feelings are temporary and we have the upmost power to flick those “chips” off of our shoulder like some dandruff off your neck…..but why don’t we?

Charles Capps said it best in that we are continuously saying the things that we have while we can take full possession of the things that we want-–but there is a comfort—a sort of security in what you’ve always known—Billy Bob never did what he said he was gonna do so as a result your expression was always, “You Make Me Sick!” and you wondered why you got an ulcer now. You may say, ” I’ll never give Detrick control over my life because nobody is gonna control me!” and you wondered why the closest you ever got to a marriage proposal was watching The Wedding Planner, the movie.

We dam ourselves with the very words that we say and as a result, God is not able to move on our behalf because we are cluttered in an armored mindset of comfort in saying the same things yet expecting totally different results…such insanity. I realized this state of comfort having turned mad as hell to the church after the loss of my parents, them accepting “divine” health, me thinking that it meant that God was going to heal and recycle them back to me on this Earth for me to enjoy—while it meant that they’d have to leave the Earth in order to receive the “divine health”. I shouted, “How dare He (God)” do such a thing to me when I walked the hospital floors praying for them, got good grades in school, always made the house shine, treated my dorm mates right, and did not cuss….All the efforts in my tool box could not rescue the plan of God so I cut into my race and detoured my path to the truth…filling it with a variety of fillers….you know that stuff they put in meat to make it taste good…..the things we do to make life “taste” good! They did not work….they did not work……the fillers in my life that I used to make life “taste good” did not work…..just like you find yourself surrounded by more food, more pocketbooks, more Gucci Bags, Designer Jeans than you can ever wear, those fillers are not going to bring them back, bring him or her back, stop the pain and numb your raining of fear and hurt.

As long as we have what we say, we will have what we say and see what we just said we have wondering what happened, being double minded with a headache needing relief. Looking beyond what we can see in the natural takes work….trust me…I walk it out on a daily…….adjusting my attitude and cleaning my window on a regular……but I am determined to live a life of faith and not insanity without sabotaging my destiny in the process.Apply faith to your life today. God specializes in things that are impossible!

Sincerely,

Danita Ogandaga

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