Watching the television for moments at a time these days can translate into to almost catching a case of the “Man I remember that” moments if you are not careful. From the Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta to Marrying the Game to Mr. and Mrs. Jones, the world is hard knocked focused on watching so many women and men continue to sell themselves short while they are going through and agonizing season of singlehood. Although it has not been published alot, not everyone is following the Jones’s and you can have heaven on earth in the arms of one man and not playing the role of Jezebel on steroids thugging your way into the arms of another man.
I’ve spent the later part of this year providing expressive therapy to man women and men who are dealing with abandonment and orphaned issues which have created a centrality of trauma causing them to, in anger, and often times without feeling, engage in extra marital relationships or become the subject add-on of one functioning as a mistress or mister. Either way, the development of these relationships was birthed out of pain and the need to feel desired while secure. Through a process of identifying a type of person that could be massaged into a profile suitable for sex on the side, these affairs sickly provide a safe haven for the emotional to feel at ease.
In the midst of feeling at ease, once the sex has died down, the making of a soul tie has manifested and as you already know, condoms may be able to keep you from getting pregnant, but they will NOT prevent you from developing a soul tie.
So what is it already? A soul tie is an emotional attachment that is developed via vows, commitments, sexual or emotional exchanges that people engage in. The process of the exchange creates a bridge where information and needs are communicated and transferred. Woman are the holders of the majority of the information and needs that are transferred simply because of the nature of our anatomy. We are receivers so the development of the soul tie is stored within us.
From Mark to Corinthians, the bible is clear about the joining of one man and one woman together and the forming of a unit. Imagine when that unit between a woman and a man is comprised with the continual revolving door of relationships and soul ties that develop as a result of break-ups to make-ups to meet-ups to sex-up, etc.
2013 is the beginning of a new era of grace and God wants you to walk free of the shame of your past so if you are holding this pattern of why am I constantly choosing this person over and over again, it may be time to stop looking at the person and the spirit of the person whose pattern keeps vying for your attention.
The Orphan No More podcast and Danitaogandaga.com Expressive Therapy is here to remind you that God loves you, in fact, He always has and always will love you and you can get free of every bondage that you have been entangled with. There is power in the name of Jesus to break each and every chain that holds you bound.
There is good news if you want to break out of your chain:
- Simply ask God to deliver you of the sin that you are entangled with. Then repent asking God for forgiveness and purpose in your heart to turn completely away from Pookie and Tyrone even when it gets cold outside.
- Reverse the curse. Renounce any and every tie that you have had with a person or persons. Proverbs 21:23 in the message translation says He who guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from calamity. Well, that means that you have the power to speak life and continue to thank God for your deliverance.
- Forgive Yourself and the Offenders. From Genesis to Revelations, there are so many scriptures that encourage us to forgive. The main person to forgive is yourself. When we come to our senses, we actually realize that we were led away and distracted but now that we are sober, we should forgive ourselves as well as the parties involved.
Most importantly, know that God loves you and He always will. There is nothing that you can do to prevent Him from loving you. I encourage you to keep walking forward in the direction of your healing and in the days ahead, keep reading scriptures that feed your faith and starve your doubts.
For more intensive work in dealing with the trauma of your past, check out our Get to Work+Services section on our website. Group and individual coaching and expressive therapy will begin the second week of January 2013.
God bless you!
Danita Ogandaga, MSW 