Grief & Loss

“All Lives Lost”: Grieving w/the Families of Flight 370

 

 

 

mayaRecent reports rang throughout the world that all lives have been lost and the Malaysian Flight 370 loaded with approximately 239 passengers from all backgrounds, nationalities, and religions have perished.

In a recent interview, Prime Minister Najib Razak reported that the airline responded via text message declaring its “deepest regrets leading to an assumption that Flight MH 370 has been lost and that none of those on-board survived.”

Suddenly, a loud wailing burst forth from families whose repetitive questions week after week since this suspicious and mysterious vanishing of the plane led to no clue of understanding where their family members are. We can only imagine how helpless they must have felt to be in such a state with no definitive answers of the last moments of their loved ones.

This type of grief produces complicated grief for many where there is no finality associated with the death of a loved one and no proper burial or resting place. The passengers aboard were not just that or crew, they were fathers, children, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousin, and friends. We take this time to pray for those who are survivors of the lost.

In the days ahead, the tasks of grief may seem complicated but we wish the family peace in gaining acceptance for the loss of their loved ones. The tasks of grief, developed by William J. Worden include

  1. Accepting the reality of loss
  2. Experiencing the pain of grief
  3. Adjusting to a life without the deceased
  4. Withdrawing emotional energy and investing in other relationships.

All of these things will not be done overnight, we pray for the strength of the families in the days ahead.

 

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$0.79 Therapy- Stop Waiting for Pooky!

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God often removes people from your life for a reason so be so careful before you try to chase them down to return! God is about purpose and sometimes in developing you, you will find that those things that used to bring you joy may be replaced with other things. This does not mean that you are better than the other person, it simply means your development and progress has been re-aligned and the two of you are not compatible.

Loss is an inevitiable process to life and as sure as we gain, we must lose, as we catch things in life ,we must release. This uncomfortable feeling can and will create heartburn and feelings of uncertainty but be assured that you are excelling into becoming your best self.

Attachments are so beautiful when they enter our lives. Like our finest accessory, attachments can be added to accentuate our life in many ways where dullness once existed. It may be that before going to Starbucks on a regular, you found yourself waking up to Quick Trip coffee, and wanted to spice up your life, or you began shopping excessively at the Gap because you wanted to rock the latest fashion and could not afford it. To the human side, maybe you were so completely in love with Pooky but Pooky did not treat you right so you took some time off from him and now he is trying to come back onto the scene.

As a result, now Pooky calls you day in and day out wanting to arrange a time to see you and wondering how you’d feel about his recent attachments which includes an addiction to people pleasing which causes him to spend his money and yours buying the jacket of the week or maybe he wants to showcase you at his work party but he has already told you he does not want to commit but wants you to just go with the flow. Let’s pause here.

No wait…..does that mean you’d be a spare this time?

So if you are in the waiting room of life and you find yoursef wondering if that love, life, person, or thing will suddenly explode onto the scene and have you all pick up where you left off, know that this may never happen and you should finally breathe and get used to your new and fresh life.

  1. Ask God to give you a new perspective and to clarify yourself in the truth of His word so that you can clearly see.
  2. Don’t rely on your feelings to make the difference in your life because feelings are fickle and they lie.
  3. Appreciate the time that you had with that thing or person and ask God to come in and fill the void of your worth and value with Himself
  4. Let God love on you and allow you to grow and rise above the hurt that you may be feeling with having loss the attachments in you life.

God loves you to pieces and He wants the very best for you. You may have a heart ache for a few minutes, but be courageous and walk into all that God has for you!

He loves you immensely,

Danita Solomon Ogandaga

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