I had to remind the Accuser of the Brethren to shhhh……… talking but no one is listening! #andwhat!
Tag: relationships
Get Grateful, Not Green!
The term “green with envy” has been a well known phrase on the market for years. A search back to the origin proved to originate back in biblical times when Cain killed his brother Abel over their birthright which created the first murder in the history of the Earth house.
When we deal with situations in life where we believe that someone should not have what we want. For those of you who have had a strong desire to have something, there often was nothing that we would not do in order to obtain that thing. Sure, we may not have thought about the extremes of murder and bodily harm; but the issues of motive, consequences, and confrontation all come into play because the end result is having that “thing” in your possession even if it means leaving the possession of someone else.
Let’s look at a practical definition of jealousy: The fears and anxieties a person hoards due to the attention being given to or by someone special to them or the possessions a person has which create threats to self-esteem and resentment.
Motive plays a major part in creating an obstacle to being grateful for what we have and not resorting to the intense feelings of jealousy which cause us to covet another’s possessions. When you were growing up, do you remember being deprived of many things that it created an enormous feeling of anger and the desire to want to accumulate whatever you could. Do you remember having the mindset that by any means necessary you would obtain what you wanted? It could be attention, clothing, praise, information, or whatever the sort. Motives are the drivers to why we do the things that we do…..in essence, the human behavior that we exhibit on a regular basis which are comprised of our thoughts, actions, and habits.
Once you walk out the gestures of ungratefulness and head to jealously and being envious, consequences will follow. Just as the wages of drinking too much alcohol lead to a massive hangover, the result of being envious create a hostile never ending environment with tension within yourself. A daily assessment of self will prove to never be enough to make the bar of approval simply because there is an irresistible resentment and lingering lack of self-esteem to grab your net and fish for the purpose, passion, or things that create a sense of inner peace. Envy turns your motivated grateful eyes to green!
Selah…….take a coffee or a tea and marinate on this topic because it’s sometimes subtle and if not dealt with can create some immense gravity issues that manipulate your equilibrium.
Having taken the time to evaluate yourself–maybe you find yourself in a fragile state and are ready to confront your truth that you are not as strong as you think and despite your efforts, you still have hang-ups that you were not chosen to be Charlie’s girl or Becky did not ask you out coffee. Perhaps you realize that our front is up and you are on to yourself recognizing that you have gotten surfed up into the tides of envy and jealousy and want to come back to your senses of gratefulness, that space where you are so in tune with your storehouse of blessings from God himself and the perpetual thought track that a continual supply will always flow for you.
Let’s conquer, or at least begin to conquer the envy through confrontation with the following reflections:
- Go to the ROOT- Are you aware of what emotions and thoughts that you go through when that feeling? Do you find yourself being overdosed with constant episodes of the Kafashians or the Reeking Housewives of Refuse? Is a picture being painted before you where you are inundated with what you believe is an unattainable lifestyle causing you to consistently believe that you have absolutely nothing going for yourself? Well, simply get up out of your seat and turn the TV. Turn it off! The Jones’s have been replaced on the Plasma and the new kids on the block have hefty sponsors who ensure that followers crave for the vision they are telling on the tel-e-vision.
- Call it out– NO, I am not saying have “laying on the hands experience” necessarily, but locate yourself. Truth in the inward parts is so essential for obtaining your healing so start with truth. If you must journal it, scream it, speak it, or whatever, get it out and do not allow these harmful emotions to rot your spirit, soul, and mind. Tell it all to God because he knows anyway. Once your establish and commit to truth, the process for healing has begun and you open yourself up to be ready to take the necessary steps to healing from this vile emotion.
- Build a Fortress of Security- Create the time to do things that affirm your identity in being the most authentic you that you can be. Building your worth and setting personal goals ensure your focus on a more positive direction than consistently reminding you of what you do not have. Reminding yourself that you are unique and loved by God makes all of the difference. In addition, filling yourself up with scriptures which complement what God says about you can assist you on those days that you wish to compare yourself to others and desire to walk in their shoes. A couple of my favorite scrips are 1 Corinthians 3:3, Psalm 73:3, and Galatians 5:25-26
Getting free takes one step at a time. God is your source of strength and He will assist you in seeking truth. Being grateful is such an awesome experience because you always create a window of opportunities that can be available to you. God can work with that, so get grateful, not green!
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Get Up and Stay Out
This morning as I was preparing morning Tally and Mommy activity- gardening, I am looking at these flowers we purchased on yesterday and the colorful pots which we will extract and replant in the pot, as well as the bag of potting soil. While in the midst of this I hear, “Tell them to get up and stay out”. I obey so listen up….
Many of you I am sure may unknowingly find yourself in a state of anger, whether it is subtle and turned inward via depression or tossing glasses around the house due to your present circumstance. I am not going to ask you to raise your hand, cause I may not be able to recognize your faces, but many are trying to find your way through or out of your present day circumstance to the things that really hold value in your life.Your purpose.
With the state of the economy and the redlining um….redesigning of communities- whether by your volition or not, many people are on the other side of life in a pasture that is not looking so green right now. I am reminded of the post that my classmate Alicia Bryant wrote several weeks ago, referencing that God told you to go but he did not inform you that you’d have obstacles along the way. Man, if someone would have told me that I’d have to pray my way of out a eternal state of insanity after the death of both parents at the age of 21, I certainly would not have signed up for this journey. Especially then, at the critical juncture of the sealing of my identity- thank God for my brothers and sisters who told me, “Yes You Can”! What about you? I am sure many of you did not expect the doctor to tell you that you’d not be able to carry your child to term or you’d never lose the weight. Or your job will be ending in 30 days- the proverbial manager who informs you that even “his position is up for discussion”- Even with this— all while preparing the gardening activity for this morning, God was speaking to me about confidence. Looking at the pots, bag of soil, bucket of water, apron, tools, etc. God was speaking to me about those of us who are finding their way through and out–with what we now hold in our hands.
If life would come equipped with a GPS– there would be some happy people.. right Lisa? I mean if God could just inform us that okay 2 months from now you are gonna bid for your dream house but someone may try to block the process- I can at least prepare for the blow.. Right? Tommie said that the convenience of a GPS is that is requires no work, set-backs (well maybe a few depending on the brand), it’s 24/7, clear reception, for you to reach a fixed point. Well that may be the case, but we know that life is not a culmination of all those great catch phrases and that in this life, we will have trials and tribulations— we have been told not to sweat because we already won.. We have to know and resolve that our steps are ordered by God and although His process does require seeking him daily for direction in order to clearly hear him tell you where to go to your fixed point.
Remember Genesis- where Abraham was told to pack up and take a Greyhound out of his city— to a place that he’d be informed about ….later… I am sure there may have been some… well what will it look like or as my Grandma Sudie would say, well what do you want me to do then? Many of us have been uprooted from our comfort and are experiencing rootshock–maybe you lost your house due to foreclosure, or went from making $50K to $15k— whatever the lot we have been extracted —like the plant that Talmer-Marie and I are about to touch– and are being re-potted –repositioned.
For years I was a community organizer and social work instructor studying human behavior in the Hill District of Pittsburgh, PA. I studied the intricate details that led to the population shift in the Hill District community that ultimately bruised the fabric of the community’s economic stimulus and sense of community. With every new plan for change and every promise of hope, people were speculative and some were even apathetic to the process. This statement is not a negative connotation on the community that I love so much; however it is intended to give light to the possibility that many were being guided through a series of processes over and over that often times were a step in a process of other steps.The convenience of a predictable GPS “plan” worked but the plans were not enough to really meet the detailed niche of the community–thus setbacks were created. I wondered during my early days– well why can’t we just go in and fix it—— people are people with situations that need to be fixed– rootshock is systemic and geographical— but our mindset is the pilot. It was not until I practiced the Chinese proverb— Go to the people, learn from them, show them your strengths, they’ll show you theirs, swap weaknesses, devise a plan, and in the end, the people will say, We did it ourselves! We must be active participants to our change.
No matter if the circumstance was caused by your lack of attention or inflicted upon you, you must get up and stay out. Questioning yourself every morning with the How Did I Get Here story will only result in the creation of a famine in your mind and soul. When things around you may be drying up, the last thing you need is a dried up mind and soul. Stress is definitely that culprit because it deforms our physical and mental state and delays our peace and ability to hear from God. We got to get up and stay out.
So Danita, I am not working…..get up in the morning and wash your face, put on some deodorant and take a walk to the public library and search for opportunities. My husband left me for him…well get up and look at that picture of him and begin the process of releasing anger. I have been mad all my life because I don’t seem to be able to lose weight…girl — go and take them skinny jeans off- look in the mirror at yourself and assess your plan for change.
Yes, it may have come–is come to your house right now, but it will not stay for long. God will honor those who get up and stay out —of doubt, fear, scarcity, victimization, and inferiority. Utilize what you have in your hand—in your” potted” state. You may not believe that the “potted” plant has any stability– but God can anchor you tighter than you can imagine!
I love the part in the bible that says, Now it came to PASS…that there WAS a famine in the land.
The vagabond—may have been homeless and in a state of confusion but he eventually went to a new home. So will you
Danita Ogandaga, MSW 