“God, why do you love me so much?” Good, bad, high, lows, the million dollar question is not to seek money but to come into the realization!” He loves you, always has, always will.
See you in May! Check back for details.
Tag: church
Putting Labels & People in Their Place
On a daily basis, we are given the names which ultimately define us within a block of time. Mommy from 12 midnight to 5, social worker from 6am-7pm, wife for all of the time in between. These names or labels, as I call them, can cause us to be on a never-ending tail spin of understanding that we are and having a conflicted identity. When the roles overlap, we find ourselves feeling inadequate of not giving an attentive balance to one group over the other and feelings of insecurity abound. Times such as these compromise our pursuit of peace and the extension of it in our lives.
The bible specifically instructs us on how to handle situations with peace. Despite what we have heard on Sunday morning, many of us are not able to carry that strength of overcoming throughout the week and are weary and in need of a refill because we are laddered with care and shame. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that shame is the cousin of pain and pain is the result of something missing with the desire to fill the need in another area. If you have not been told that you are a good mommy, it can rock you to your core so that every time you prepare to do mommy duties, the tape plays and it sounds like this, “You’re so not good enough, you could not even cook your family a home cooked meal. Why do you rely on a housekeeper to keep your family clean? You are so not a good mother.
In our attempts to reach out to “fix” this situation at home, it often causes us to overcompensate in other areas of life such as work for example and we strive to be the very best that we can be within this environment until we excel and achieve and eventually abandon or accept the lie of not being “good enough” in our home domestication duties. In addition to the overcompensation, we also develop attitudes and behaviors of passive aggression because of our unwillingness to confront a situation that had become to overbearing for us. In small outbursts, you make your distain for a situation known because you are unwilling to address and confront truth because of the days that we were taught to suppress and take the issue to God in prayer. I am not saying that this is wrong and I am a believer that all things should go to God in prayer; however, as women (and sometimes men, if you are reading this post), can get into a situation where we are unwilling to approach and confront truth due to the false humility that the spirit of religion has taught us and that is to take the aggression of the issue that we are facing into our self and find a way to suppress and forgive it in silence. This may be the case sometimes, but as many of you know, sometimes you must rock the boat and confront, confront, confront. Jesus did bear our burdens so we don’t have to suppress and wear them, and in addition to all of this, He also ensured that we were forever redeemed from drama and the trauma associated with it. Because of this, we can be assured, with confidence, that we are enough, and God loves us no matter what we may be facing.
Oh how the devil is a liar……..
You are more than just a mommy, a wife, an employee, you are God’s favorite and He wants for you to stop allowing society to place all of these burdensome labels on you. He wants you to walk in peace and joy each day knowing that you are making a difference in whatever sector you are in. Even on your worst day, the power of God is available to be your strength. One of my favorite scriptures in 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that “His strength is perfected in our weakness” so you see, we are more than enough.
How do you put labels in their proper place? Study these tips and add them to your daily routine!
- Know that you are good enough (1 Corinthians 3:16 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?)
- Defy the lie (1 John 5:1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.)
- Everyone has days of growth so when you miss it, keep moving(Romans 3:10As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one)
- Ask God to reveal your worth (2 Timothy 2:7 Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.)
- Seek therapy to heal from past trauma if you are having difficulty letting go (Deut 29:29 “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.)
- Confess the word of God over your life daily. No matter what time of day it is and how often you have to switch hats, confess the following over your life until faith in what you say becomes more real than the role you are playing, “ God, I know that you made me and I broke the mold. No matter what hats or labels I wear on a daily basis, keep me aware as to what my ultimate label is. I am a blessed child of God that is destined for success in every area of my life. Even on my worst day, you still make the difference in my life and you have always been, you are, and forever will be my strength. In Jesus name, Amen.
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$0.79 Therapy- Love on Purpose
The ability to love others begins with the ability to love yourself. Dealing with the painful *ish that life serves you can present challenge after challenge but you must remain connected to the love that is within yourself. Spreading love like wildflowers is great but what happens when the smoke of residual love starts shooting from your life like a car choking on fumes? You can not give someone something that you do not have.
For a long time, I walked around life tip-toeing on the issue of loving myself. I was an orphan and everything that I did was through the eyes of a hurt little girl who lost both parents. The light in my eyes turned dim and I felt as though I had to be all things to all people to make it in the world. In the process of being all things to all people, I realized that at the end of the day, I would always come up short and feel bankrupt -emotionally, spiritually, and financially.
The ones that I thought I could depend on disappointed me everytime and I learned the language of compensation, making the whole world pay for their mistake and my ultimate shortage of feeling causing me to have a conditional love for myself.
I’ll say it again…….You can not give someone what you do not have. You can’t dish out heaps of love to other when you are struggling to love yourself. Love is a word that is fickle and must endure through many situations to stand the test of time. Love has always been the foundation of what we do and who we are; but many have lost the connection to love due to the presence of pain.
Pain can cause the sensititvity of love to be hard as rocks and unable to translate into any hope for the future. Love is a powerful emotion. For you to love others, you must connect with the love you have for yourself. It has always been there, yet many people are disconnected from loving yourself due to layers of fat, addictive habits, abused relationships, words that scar, and situations that don’t have a silver lining.
Remember this:
Love is love and is so strong it can melt the hearts of the hurt with one encounter, turning the conditional into unconditional.
Think about the following question?
What parts of your authentic self did you have to hide or camouflage in your childhood?
At the heart of each of us is an authentic self that is waiting to love and be loved. Getting to the heart of the issues that consume us and stop us from moving forward in life is essential for us to keep the progression strong for loving ourselves. Getting to the heart of the issues that are consuming us is the only way to ensure that we will not slip out of like with ourselves and enter into a state of perpetual blaming and self-infliction leading to a a cycle of abuse. There is no need to hide those sections of yourself that make you who you are because they are deeply rooted and must surface for the essenceof you to be expressed.
God has placed an authentic expression in each of us. He wants us to love ourselves on purpose so that we are free to love others unconditionally.
Gheesh……..I really enjoyed writing this piece and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please feel free to share your story of loving on purpose in the comment section below.
With love,
Danita
Danita Ogandaga, MSW 