The term “green with envy” has been a well known phrase on the market for years. A search back to the origin proved to originate back in biblical times when Cain killed his brother Abel over their birthright which created the first murder in the history of the Earth house.
When we deal with situations in life where we believe that someone should not have what we want. For those of you who have had a strong desire to have something, there often was nothing that we would not do in order to obtain that thing. Sure, we may not have thought about the extremes of murder and bodily harm; but the issues of motive, consequences, and confrontation all come into play because the end result is having that “thing” in your possession even if it means leaving the possession of someone else.
Let’s look at a practical definition of jealousy: The fears and anxieties a person hoards due to the attention being given to or by someone special to them or the possessions a person has which create threats to self-esteem and resentment.
Motive plays a major part in creating an obstacle to being grateful for what we have and not resorting to the intense feelings of jealousy which cause us to covet another’s possessions. When you were growing up, do you remember being deprived of many things that it created an enormous feeling of anger and the desire to want to accumulate whatever you could. Do you remember having the mindset that by any means necessary you would obtain what you wanted? It could be attention, clothing, praise, information, or whatever the sort. Motives are the drivers to why we do the things that we do…..in essence, the human behavior that we exhibit on a regular basis which are comprised of our thoughts, actions, and habits.
Once you walk out the gestures of ungratefulness and head to jealously and being envious, consequences will follow. Just as the wages of drinking too much alcohol lead to a massive hangover, the result of being envious create a hostile never ending environment with tension within yourself. A daily assessment of self will prove to never be enough to make the bar of approval simply because there is an irresistible resentment and lingering lack of self-esteem to grab your net and fish for the purpose, passion, or things that create a sense of inner peace. Envy turns your motivated grateful eyes to green!
Selah…….take a coffee or a tea and marinate on this topic because it’s sometimes subtle and if not dealt with can create some immense gravity issues that manipulate your equilibrium.
Having taken the time to evaluate yourself–maybe you find yourself in a fragile state and are ready to confront your truth that you are not as strong as you think and despite your efforts, you still have hang-ups that you were not chosen to be Charlie’s girl or Becky did not ask you out coffee. Perhaps you realize that our front is up and you are on to yourself recognizing that you have gotten surfed up into the tides of envy and jealousy and want to come back to your senses of gratefulness, that space where you are so in tune with your storehouse of blessings from God himself and the perpetual thought track that a continual supply will always flow for you.
Let’s conquer, or at least begin to conquer the envy through confrontation with the following reflections:
- Go to the ROOT- Are you aware of what emotions and thoughts that you go through when that feeling? Do you find yourself being overdosed with constant episodes of the Kafashians or the Reeking Housewives of Refuse? Is a picture being painted before you where you are inundated with what you believe is an unattainable lifestyle causing you to consistently believe that you have absolutely nothing going for yourself? Well, simply get up out of your seat and turn the TV. Turn it off! The Jones’s have been replaced on the Plasma and the new kids on the block have hefty sponsors who ensure that followers crave for the vision they are telling on the tel-e-vision.
- Call it out– NO, I am not saying have “laying on the hands experience” necessarily, but locate yourself. Truth in the inward parts is so essential for obtaining your healing so start with truth. If you must journal it, scream it, speak it, or whatever, get it out and do not allow these harmful emotions to rot your spirit, soul, and mind. Tell it all to God because he knows anyway. Once your establish and commit to truth, the process for healing has begun and you open yourself up to be ready to take the necessary steps to healing from this vile emotion.
- Build a Fortress of Security- Create the time to do things that affirm your identity in being the most authentic you that you can be. Building your worth and setting personal goals ensure your focus on a more positive direction than consistently reminding you of what you do not have. Reminding yourself that you are unique and loved by God makes all of the difference. In addition, filling yourself up with scriptures which complement what God says about you can assist you on those days that you wish to compare yourself to others and desire to walk in their shoes. A couple of my favorite scrips are 1 Corinthians 3:3, Psalm 73:3, and Galatians 5:25-26
Getting free takes one step at a time. God is your source of strength and He will assist you in seeking truth. Being grateful is such an awesome experience because you always create a window of opportunities that can be available to you. God can work with that, so get grateful, not green!
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Danita Ogandaga, MSW 